Relationships

This week we talked about dating and courtship. We talked about four different characteristics or things that lead to attraction.

1 - Physical attraction: There are two theories under physical attraction. The first is the social theory of physical attraction. It stats taht if people are powerful and beautiful and you are perceived as being a part of that group, you are also perceived as powerful and beautiful. The second theory is the biological theory which states that men look at women for youth and fertility and women look at men for strength and stature. Men want women who can bear healthy children and women want men who can provide for and protect their children. We talked about the waist-to-hip ratio which is about .8. This means that men prefer women whose hips are a little bit larger than their waist, or curvy women. Statistics show that women who fall within this ratio are typically women who live healthy lives.

2 - Proximity: The closer you live to someone, the more likely romantic relationships occur or are available. We talked, however, about the advances that technology has made in long distance relationships, and this is changing the concept of proximity a little bit.

3 - Similarities: You are generally attracted to people who are similar or like you. This is where the phrase "Birds of a feather flock together" comes in. Although there may always be differences between people within a relationship, there are usually more things in common than not between those who are in intimate relationships. Having similarities puts both partners on equal ground and understanding with each other.

4 - Familiarity: You are more likely to talk to, interact with, and ultimately date those who you previously know, or meet through someone you know. Within familiarity is also the concept that if you hear positive things about someone before you meet them, they are more attractive to you when you actually do meet them.

Gender

This week we talked about gender. We brought up a few controversial topics like equality for women and same gender attraction. What I kept thinking about all week is The Family Proclamation to the World. I've thought a lot this week about my understanding of the divinity of gender and my own gender-role orientation. One of my personality traits is that if someone tells me I can or can't do something (especially because I'm a girl) I will do everything I can to prove them wrong. So when it comes to equality for women, I am all about it. I can do anything a man can, they have no superiority over me simply because I am a woman and they are a man. However, I also know that gender is a divinely appointed gift and each gender has been given certain gifts that are unique to their gender - especially women. Over the last few years, my focus has shifted. Yes, I can do anything a man can. I can have a successful career in businesses, politics, accounting, public relations or anything else if I wanted to. But just because I can doesnt mean that I should. Womanhood is a gift and blessing from my Heavenly Father and with that gift comes many special blessings and talents that I possess. I have the opportunity to be a wife and a mother and in holding those roles I have the opportunity to nurture and care for the lives and well-being of others. My divine gender role is to be a mother and a wife. That doesn't make me any less important or skilled than men. I can still do anything if I set my mind to it, but that's not what Heavenly Father wants for me and I should be happy with the blessing it is to be different from men - not subordinate or inferior, just different.

Social Class

This week we talked about social class. I found it really interesting to look at the statistics of the difference in pay between different levels of education and even between genders. Something I thought about while we were going over these numbers, I thought about how even though in our country we have the opportunity to rise above our situation and change our class, it is difficult to change. There are so many unspoken rules within social classes that it takes a long time within the class to understand how things work within that class. Its also hard to have to drop to a lower social class. My husband grew up in a wealthy family. His father is well off and he has always had easy access to the luxuries of life. But he is going into education and we will never have the kind of money that his parents do. The first few months we were married we had to talk about budgeting and how to manage money. It was a big change for me and especially him and it took a while to change some of the spending habits that we both had. Another thing I thought about this week was how blessed we are in this country because even on the lower end of income, we still make more money than other families in other countries. I am grateful for the blessings that I have to be financially stable.

Boundaries

This week we talked about family rules and boundaries. We had to draw a map of our family boundaries. There are only four kids in my family but it got complicated really fast. I guess boundaries and implicit rules were something that I always knew were there because I lived by them. But it was really interesting to actually think about the boundaries that exists between my family members and the rules that governed our relationships - both the explicit and the implicit.
I also thought about how the boundaries and rules have changed a little over time as we have grown older and our situations have changed, some of us moving out and getting married, having our own children and even one moving back home. I also thought about my husband's family and how I fit in with them and what boundaries I have with them. I've slowly started to learn the implicit rules and things that are and are not acceptable within his family and I think he's also started to learn the same things in my family. It's interesting to me that even as we start our own family, we still fit into and have certain roles within our families of origin.
I'm learning in this class that families are complicted and complex. There are so many minute details that when woven together form this functional symphony that directs the life of a family.

Family Research and Trends

This week we talked about research and trends of families. We talked about how it can be difficult to study families because there are so many differences between each family and how there are so many trends related to families - premarital sex, living alone, cohabitation, divorce and remarriage, babies born out of wedlock. What I learned from all of this is two things. In relation to the differences in families, I thought about how Heavenly Father knows each of us individually and He puts us in a family that we can strive in, or at least wont put us in a family that we can't handle. There are so many differences to families and they each provide for the families needs in their own way. The second thing that I learned was in relation to the different trends that we see in families. Family is such a central part to our Heavenly Fathers plan which means that Satan will try so hard to attack the family in whatever way he can. This is evident in all of the trends that we studied. It is so important that I do all that I can to protect my family from becoming part of these statistics of negative family trends.