This week we talked about communication. I really liked talking about this subject since it is such a vital aspect necessary in marriage. The definition that we used in class for communication is the use of language and non-verbal signs to create shared meaning between two or more people.
Non-verbal communication can play a large role in communication. We talked about how clothing, hygiene, facial expressions, touch and body language are all forms of non-verbal communication. We talked about how the way you dress and present yourself sends a message. When my husband was younger his two older brothers started dressing in baggy t-shirts and jeans and hanging out with a group of kids that their dad did not approve of. So their dad made a rule that they could only wear a t-shirt once a week, the rest of the week they had to wear collared shirts. My husband said it didn't take long for the unapproved behavior to cease and their friends to change. What they wore effected the people that they hung out with because it communicated a certain message.
We also talked about listening. I feel like this is just as important in communication as any other apsect. It doesn't do much good to communicate if noone is listening. We talked about different types of poor listeners.
Non-verbal communication can play a large role in communication. We talked about how clothing, hygiene, facial expressions, touch and body language are all forms of non-verbal communication. We talked about how the way you dress and present yourself sends a message. When my husband was younger his two older brothers started dressing in baggy t-shirts and jeans and hanging out with a group of kids that their dad did not approve of. So their dad made a rule that they could only wear a t-shirt once a week, the rest of the week they had to wear collared shirts. My husband said it didn't take long for the unapproved behavior to cease and their friends to change. What they wore effected the people that they hung out with because it communicated a certain message.
We also talked about listening. I feel like this is just as important in communication as any other apsect. It doesn't do much good to communicate if noone is listening. We talked about different types of poor listeners.
The Faker: these people pretend to listen. They usually smile and nod at the right times, but they are either thinking about something else.
The Dependent Listener: These people are only concerned about the impression they are sending to the speaker. They think more about how to make a good impression than they do about what the speaker is actually saying. They excessively agree just because they want the speaker to keep a good view of them.
The Interrupter: These people never allow the speaker to finish. They usually are more concerned with their own thoughts and feelings than those of the speaker.
The Self-Concious Listener: These people are similar to the dependent listener in that they are mostly concerned with how the speaker views them. The self-concious listener thinks only about what they are going to say next in order to come across as intelligent or some other trait they think the speaker is looking for.
The Intellectual Listener: These people only listen to the verbal communication. They appraise what the speaker has said verbally, but ignore the nonverbal cues.
The Intellectual Listener: These people only listen to the verbal communication. They appraise what the speaker has said verbally, but ignore the nonverbal cues.
I think that we all are guilty of being one or more type of a poor listener, but it is important in any relationship, especially marriage, that we try to become better listeners. Someone said in class that they heard this quote once. "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we should do twice as much listening as we do talking."
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