Coping

This week we talked about family stress and coping. We learned about Reuben Hills ABCX family crisis model.

A+B+C=X

A: the stressor event and the harships it produces

B: the management of the stress through different coping resources.

C: the families view/perspective or definition of the event

X: the crisis

McCubbin and Patterson proposed a modified ABCX model in which they relabled A to be family demants. There are three components to family demands - stressor, hardships, and pileups.

We talked about different messages that we receive from society about how to deal with stress. Some of these include:
- it's ok to be angry but not to cry
- "They're in a better palce" undermining your emotions of being sad or upset
- there is a certain way to suffer/grieve

We talked about how there are many different types of family crisis that can occur, but how well a family deals with them depends on the resources that are available to them. Some of the resources that are important in dealing with stress are:
- Religion
- Rituals or traditons that help keep normality
- humor
- family cohesion
- spending family time together
- journaling
- exercising
- having places of refuge
- working together
- friend and community support
- financial support such as health insurance, savings, education, car insurance, life/death insurance

When I was 13 years old, my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor and it was definitely a family crisis for us. My dad spent several weeks in the ICU and several more weeks in the hospital. It was several months before he could even walk again. Some resources that we had to help us deal with the stress and crisis was having the support of our ward and neighbors. It was helpful to have others who were not directly involved in the crisis be able to help organize meals to be brought in, answer phone calls and emails, help drive us kids to and from places and other daily activities that my mom couldn't do because she was preoccupied with my dad. We also were blessed to be military, which meant that my dad still had his job, his surgeries and other medical bills were paid for and we had strong support from those he worked with.

This week we also talked about the family life cycle. There are six stages to this cycle.

1. Leaving home
2. Coupling - commiting to an intimate relationship outside of your family of origin
3. Parenting young children
4. Parenting adolescents
5. Launching children
6. Retirement/old age